|I asked one of the Kings how his day started. He said:-|
"Got up outer me Uncle Ned (bed) an Bob Squash-ed (washed) me boat race (face), with some band of hope (soap) before ‘aving a dig the grave (shave).
All respectable lookin’ like, it’s time to get me togs on.
Oi, where’s me almond rocks (socks)? Ah ha! There they are, ‘iding in me daisy roots (boots).
I put on me Dickey Dirt (shirt) ‘an me whistle ‘an flute (suit) otherwise known as me buttons.
I comb me barnet fair (hair), pick up me tit for tat (hat) ‘an go down the Apples ‘an Pears (stairs) for me breakie (
breakfast for you la di dah folks).
Pucker it was.
Some Uncle Fred (bread), slosh on Stammer an Stutter (Butter) ‘an a nice slab of Stand at ease (Cheese).
I checks me Gordon & Gotch (watch) for the bird lime (time) ‘an Calls the trouble ‘an strife (Missus/Wife) and told ‘er to get the dustbin lids (kids) ready and dressed.
Now would you Adam ‘an Eve (believe) it? She tells me to shut me gob or she’ll kick me up the fife ‘an drum (bum).
So I keep schtum, nip for a quick Bangers & Mash (Slash) and we’re on the off down the toad (road)"